Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Big Ole Piss Poor Pity Party

I should apologize for dropping out of sight for a while.  Quite simply put, I have been having a pity party.  Yup, a big ole "Woe is me", thumb-sucking, "what did I ever do" pity party!  Guess what, it got me nowhere!

I do realize that this year has been a tough one for so many and I am no different.  I have spent much time thinking about it lately though.  Allowing it to fester and grow and eat at the very core of myself. Since March, my granddaughter was diagnosed with a blood disorder, my daughter lost her unborn baby, I was hospitalized with near kidney failure, my youngest son has had a facial cyst that fills with infection and turns him into the creature from the black lagoon at least twice.  It must be surgically removed from his jaw/face soon before it gets very serious.  I got walking pneumonia TWICE and have passed kidney stones multiple times.  We just had to put our beloved Shepherd down due to illness 2 weeks before Thanksgiving and  I had a car wreck a few days after that...I'm ok, they ran, my car needed $1000 bucks of work/tires and that sucks.  Then just a few days ago my dear sweet cousin who is 36 and a single army dad was just diagnosed with Lymphoma which has spread pretty much everywhere, wah, wah, wah!

I was feeling pretty sorry for myself!  How much worse could this get?  What had I done for all of this to poor out on me.  Why me....gloom...woe...adversity...a really big old PISS POOR PITY PARTY!  I was basically walking around the house singing the ole "Hee-Haw" ditty:

"Gloom, despair, and agony on me
Deep, dark depression, excessive misery
If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all
Gloom, despair, and agony on me"

Then, this weekend, while talking to the cousin who has been diagnosed with cancer, he said to me, 'Well, cuz, it could be worse. My feet are healthy.  No cancer there!  " I kind of sat back and thought a second and since we had been talking for about 2 hours, I replied, "And, your tongue seems to work ok too. That is a good thing!"  Then we laughed.  Hard!  Really, really, hard.  It was wonderful. His words and humor made me realize that it was time to put on my big girl panties and get back to knowing that tomorrow would be better and the next day would be even more so!  None of this is funny per se, but there is still humor there if you look deeply enough. I also realized that it is not about me. It is about the lessons we learn and how we learn to apply them day to day.

I am telling you this not for pity, but to let you know that sometimes life gives us shit and it is up to us to pull ourselves up by the bootstraps and shovel our way out of it.  We may stink and be a bit tired when we get finished but we will know that we are stronger and that there is love and laughter under the pile. 

Moral of the story: Get the shit out of your way and get ready for 2011 folks...it's gonna be a doozy!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Hello, My name is Max and I have a problem

Upon returning home from Canada, I was immediately faced with a huge dilemma. My sweet boy had a problem. It had been building for a while. Slowly, slowly getting worse! Sweetie and I had tried to ignore it, had spoke with him about it and had even discussed a medical intervention for him. When I came home the problem had exacerbated to a point where I felt that it was finally time to move forward with getting help for him before it was too late.

“Max”, I said with the Mommy voice that said I was serious but supportive. “It is time. Head out to the car, buckle up and We are going to get you some help for your plight.”

He said nothing. He simply dropped his head and did as he was told. We headed out immediately. I drove him to the arranged meeting place and let him out. He headed in without question. He was ready too; I could feel it! I was so proud of him. I parked the Jeep and headed in to stand in the back of the room for support if needed. I knew I had to let him do this himself, but I am a mom!

He was sitting in a chair on the right side of the semi-circle that was to be his support group. He listened quietly as each of the others introduced themselves and told why they were there. Finally I saw him breathe deeply and I knew that he had gathered his wits and was going to finally open up! My heart skipped a beat. I held my breath. The waiting was intense.

He looked back at me, turned to the group and purred sweetly, “Hello, my name is Max and I have a problem!”

“Hello Max,” the rest of the felines purred.

Max continued with some shame, “I pee on the upstairs hall carpet.”

“MEOWWWW,” the others purred in support.

“I have not always done it. I don’t even want to do it. I just get so angry and strike back in the only way I know how.” He moaned.

“Tell it Max!”, one especially pretty Manx said.

“It all started with those new pups! The Mommas brought them home unexpectedly. For the longest, it was me and my best friend Tita. Tita was wonderful…for a dog! She was my pet! I loved her! When Mommy came to live with Momma, Tita and me, she brought Juno. Juno was a trial at first. She barked too much and she took time away from Mommy sometimes. She was also too damned active and drove me crazy….”
“Speak it!”, said a Tabby sitting to Max’s left.

“…but I got used to her eventually”, Max continued. “Then the puppies came! Oh my God! They were awful! They still are! I just don’t know how to deal with their shenanigans. Then, when Tita died, everything just got worse! So I began to pee on the carpet in the upstairs hall!”

“Let it out”, said a gorgeous Abyssinian.

“The puppies bark at me and chase me. They eat my food, Juno especially, and won’t even let me walk across the living room without attacking me. Piper see’s me walk toward the office and barks loudly so that everyone knows where I am. Cats are supposed to be able to be stealthy…she ruins that! Also, everyone else in the house is female. There are 5 of them and just one little ole me! That is just too much estrogen for one poor guy!”

“ROWWWWRRRR”, the others said in anger.

“The one that they call Cricket puts my whole head in her mouth!”, Max was gathering speed now. “She tries to chew my ears off. I tried to get the Mommas to understand but they just love those big ole dumb dogs so much! So I started pee’ing on the carpet and then…I even started making myself throw-up on that carpet as well. The Mommas were just assuming that I was eating too much but in reality, I am forcing myself to barf just to get attention!”

“Oh, purrrrr baby!”, the Manx said.
I was shocked by this admission. Tears were flowing. I had not realized how hard all of this had been on poor Max. I wanted to pick him up and chuck him under his double chin and tell him that all would be ok but he was on a roll so I let him continue.

“Now, Momma has had to rip up the carpet in the upstairs hall because it smelled bad….”

Aha, that explains all the mess in the living room and upstairs…but more on that later!

“…and she was grumbling about sending me to an “old kitties home” and I am not even that old. I am only 7. I am just pissed off. Everything has changed. Tita is gone! That little yappy dog, Juno, lives here now. Cricket and Piper are too big and they act like they run the place! Do they not realize that I am in charge. Everyone knows that cats are much more intelligent that dumb ole dogs. EVERYONE!”

“Amen!” said the other mousers.

“I had to get the Mommas attention. So I did what I had to do. Does anyone even get that?”, he meowed out loudly.

The other pussy’s wiped their eyes. I could not help myself and I ran over to Max and grabbed him up, “I am so sorry that we did not get how much the dogs bother you. You are an important part of the family. We all love you Max! You will stay with us as long as you live. I will talk to Momma!  You will never have to go to an “old kitties home”. Please forgive us!”

“It’s ok Mommy. I understand that humans make mistakes. Just keep those big ole dumb dogs in check and everything will be ok now.” Max purred

“Of course, Max, anything you need’, I assured him.

As we left the room I felt him looking back toward his new friends. He winked slyly.

I stroked his back, feeling such relief. He would be ok. Our household would go back to normal. Life was good again…well except for the mess that was now our living room and upstairs hallway.

“Purrrr-fect”, said the leader of the group. “She fell for his sob story. We did our job! He will once again rule that household! When will humans realize that not only we smarter than dogs. We are also smarter than them! Stupid humans!”

The group twittered.

“Yeaaa”, purred the Tabby. “So, who is next on our list Should we help the Persian that is gnawing her fur out because of the new bird in her home or the Balinese that is eating the fluff out of the pillows because he hates the new baby that his family just brought home?”

“The Balinese definitely”, the leader said. “Now, everyone raise a paw to Max!”

“Here’s to Max”, the group cheered. “May he once again show everyone that CATS RULE!!”

Friday, April 16, 2010

And They Call It Puppy Love...

Wow! So, Mike Huckabee has figured me out. I thought I had kept my darkest secrets hidden so well. But apparently he is all-knowing as he figured out that my secret desire is to marry my pet!

There! I said it out loud! I have loved her for over two years now. She is sweet and shiny and loving and kisses me whenever I am sad. She comforts me and cuddles me anytime I need her. She never asks questions and always agrees with me. She is perfect! Why should I not be allowed to marry my sweet little min/pin. Her brown eyes are so very soulful. 
That’s right - Huckabee figured out that all of my efforts in support of gay marriage were, in fact, a thinly veiled attempt to get one step closer to being able to have my relationship with my adorable pup sanctioned by the church and legally recognized by both State and Federal governments.
What an idiot! Comparing gay marriage to incest, polygamy, and bestiality as Huckabee did in a speech given to journalism students at the College of New Jersey in Ewing, NJ, last week is just ignorant. Gay marriage hurts no one. These other acts do. Gay marriage is about love, respect, and honor. Incest, bestiality, and even polygamy are about power and dominance, not love.
Mr. Huckabee, I invite you to do your research. Read. Get to know some gay and lesbian couples and their families. Figure out who they are and what they are about and search your heart for understanding and some love of your own. Stop being so judgmental and learn to live and let live. I will keep you in my prayers - Yep, believe it or not, many gays and lesbians do attend church and pray! And if I do ever decide to marry my dog, you will be the first on my guest list. We’ll be registered at PETCO.

**This blog was posted first on GAY-e-magazine's blog .  Please go there to see this and many other funny, relevent, or political musings by GAY authors!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

I am pissed off and I have a migraine...Someone Please Explain Why Chelsea King Had To Die.

When I started this blog, I thought it would be mainly about my new life with the woman I love. Mostly humorous with some bittersweet pieces mixed in. But, today, I am not happy. I am pissed off. And, I have a migraine. These two things are not great separately but together, BAM, they are TROUBLE! Just ask my Sweetie, or my kids, or any random friends you may encounter. They will all tell you! Trouble…big trouble!

I do not understand why Chelsea King of San Diego County had to die.

Why was the monster who is accused of killing her allowed to roam our streets freely after what he had already done?

John Albert Gardner III has been accused of kidnapping and murdering this straight A student who’s father called her “Angel”. John Gardner is not new to the court system. He has been convicted of similar crimes before. He pleaded guilty in May 2000 to molesting a 13-year-old female neighbor and served five years of a six-year prison term. Prosecutors said he lured the victim to his home with an offer to watch "Patch Adams," a 1998 movie starring Robin Williams.

That girl was beaten before escaping and running to a neighbor.

Mr. Gardner "never expressed one scintilla of remorse for his attack upon the victim" despite overwhelming evidence, prosecutors wrote in a sentencing memo.
He had faced a maximum of nearly 11 years in prison under terms of a plea agreement but prosecutors urged six years. A psychiatrist who interviewed Gardner, Dr. Matthew Carroll, wanted a stiffer punishment, saying in court documents that he was a
"continued danger to underage girls in the community."

Gardner was on parole for three years, until September 2008, state records show.

San Diego police also say Gardner is positively linked to an assault on a 22-year-old Colorado Springs, Colo., woman who managed to fend off her attacker on Dec. 27 in Rancho Bernardo Community Park on the northern edge of San Diego, where King's 1994 BMW was found with her belongings inside.

So, again, why did Chelsea King have to die?

Why was the monster who is accused of killing her allowed to roam our streets freely after what he had already done?

What am I missing? He was convicted. He was a known offender. A recommendation had been made that he receive a harsher sentence than he received due to the fact that he was a continued danger to underage girls in the community.

Why the hell was he still able to walk the streets, stalking innocent young women? This young girl had a life to live. Love to give. People who loved her. Who is he to be allowed to take that from her? Who is he to be allowed to take her from the people that cared.

Where is her justice? Where were the people who decided to allow him freedom as he took her life? Do they know? Do they “get it”? Do they care? I hope so. I hope that we all learn a lesson from this. I hope that we start to spend more money on our criminal justice system and less on traveling to space. I understand that space travel is important. I also understand that human life is more so!

As I said earlier. I am pissed off! I will never understand why human life must be lost due to “human rights”. I will never get why a criminal should have more rights than an average citizen. I refuse to understand why a pedophile should be allowed the freedom to harm again when a professional stated that he would re-offend!

I take this personally. I am a woman. I am an incest and rape survivor. I am a human. I have rights. Yes, I am pissed off. I hope others are as well. Maybe that way, this young girl will not have died in vain. Maybe her death will propel other women, other incest and rape survivors, other humans who have rights, to come forward and take a stand. Demand that our rights be recognized. Demand that judges and lawyers and legislators understand that we will no longer stand for innocent lives being lost due to the “human rights” of criminals.

I know that we all have certain unalienable rights that are afforded us. I agree that we all make mistakes and that if we pay for them, we can get forgiveness. I realize that people deserve the right to “pay their dues” and be pardoned. But, this man was known to be a danger to others! KNOWN! His rights should not have outweighed the rights of young Chelsea. Unfortunately, this time, they did. He won that battle. But, with the help of the people, Chelsea can still win the war!

Call your Mayor, your Governor, even your newspaper. Just call someone and tell them that you will not stand for this anymore! That something must be done! That no more lives should be lost! Demand harsher sentences, better reporting, more involvement. Ask that this child’s death not be in vain. Do it for Chelsea. Do it for your child, your grandchild, yourself. Whomever you do it for, just do it!

And Chelsea, go rest high on that mountain, Honey. You will not be forgotten. Your death will not be in vain.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Women are hard to understand....

"Men often say, 'Women, who could ever understand them?'
Don't ask a lesbian for an answer.
All you'll get is a sympathetic nod."
~ Joanne Brigden

I totally get this now! Women are hard to understand. I should know, I am one. I also live with and love one. I even have one for a daughter! Had one for a mom too! I don't understand any of us much of the time.

Relationships are hard work. Especially when you can't understand the person that you are in a relationship with.

It doesn't matter if you are in a straight, gay, transgendered, Martian or somewhere in between, relationship. It is work.


You just have to figure out if it is worth it. The relationship, that is.

Of course, with my daughter (and my mom when she was alive), we are stuck together...forever...bonded! Even if I didn't love her, which I do very much, we are forever. Families are like that. At least mine is!
With my lover, people say "there is a choice". " You can always just leave". We are not married after all...nothing holding us together....right???

That scares me. I am very heterosexual in my way of thinking about this subject. I like the idea of something holding us together...but paper doesn't do that. Your heart does. I had the paper in my other life. It did not make everything "work out". My heart was not in that relationship.

BUT, my heart is in this one. I just get scared sometimes because we are not given the same rights and opportunities and chances as "normal" (ha...right) relationships are. I see people in same sex relationships walk away all the time....just walk away...and I get scared.

I am emotional. I wish I were not. So much for wishes...
My sweety is not. I don't always understand that and when she shows no emotion on a subject I am emotional about...fear kicks in...again. This frustrates her and I understand! It frustrates me as well.

I want to talk about it. She is not a talker. But, she is trying to get better at it. I am not the most patient person. I get frustrated. I hope she can understand.

I don't understand women. Myself included.
But, I love this woman. And, I want to be with her.


Yep, relationships are hard work. But if they are worth it to you, then it really shouldn't matter how hard it is.

"Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having, except as a result of hard work."
~Booker T. Washington
She is worth it to me. She is my family now. We are stuck together...forever...bonded. Families are like that. At least mine is. I hope she will one day know just how true that is.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Little dogs stink too! Guest bloggers, the big dogs, comment...

Yesterday I blogged about our 2 "stinky dogs". They were very upset with me and asked that they be able to write their own blog today. So, without further ado I introduce you to todays guest bloggers...Piper and Cricket!

"Yesterday Mommy told everyone that we were smelly! Well, that may be, but geeze, did she have to tell everybody? We are just babies and we get dirty and we do NOT like to go and let other people put their hands all over us. We don't know where their hands have been. Also, at that "smart pet" place that Mommy talked about, they put a noose around your neck! That was scary! But, what we really want to talk about today is the little dog that lives with us. She laughed at us yesterday when she read Mommys blog! How mean!

The little dog stinks too! Mommy didn't tell you that, but she DOES! Mommy gives her a bath because she is little and doesn't fight very much (because she is dumb and we are smart cuz we went to school and graduated and everything) then Mommy sprays smelly stuff all over her. WOW, talk about stinky! Mommy says she smells like vanilla or something but she kinda smells like butter crackers! Momma says Mommy smells like butter crackers too but Mommy smells good. The little dog does not!

The little dog also wears a pink sweater when she goes outside. HA, a PINK sweater. How dorky. We try and try to bite the pink sweater off so she will look like a real dog (Momma says she is not a real dog) but Mommy yells at us to stop biting her. We are NOT trying to hurt her, we only want to help...most of the time! We know she has short hair and it has been a bit cold here but seriously, a pink sweater...just "DOG UP"!

Another thing about the little dog that bothers us is that the little dog barks and barks when the Mommas start to go anywhere! We do mean ANYWHERE! Momma says she is a "nutter" and needs medication and that makes Mommy mad sometimes. We are not sure what a "nutter" is but we think she is crazy! Why ya gotta bark like a goof? That is not gonna stop the Mommas from leaving and for petes sake, they are gonna come back. She is just a big ole baby!

And ya know what else? When it rains or is really, really cold, that block-headed little dog won't go outside to potty! We guess that she thinks she is gonna melt or something. Hrrruummmppphh...she is such a princess. She even barks and barks to let Mommas know if we are eating poop and that makes the them holler at us! Why's she gotta be such a tattletale? Ole busybody, that's what she is! She also digs ALL the holes in the yard! She does...she really, really does! We have proof ------->
See Momma, it is NOT us!

Anyway, we just wanted to let everyone know that we may be a little icky sometimes but it's not all that bad. At least we are real dogs! Just ask Momma! She knows cuz she knows everything and she says the little dog is really just a rat. So take that you little butter cracker, pink sweater wearin', nutter princess rat! Who's laughing now???
Thanks very much for having us as your guest bloggers Mommy,
Piper and Cricket"
When asked for a comment about Piper and Crickets blog, the little dog "Juno", had this to say:
"I will not lower myself to the big dogs level by commenting on this slanderous drivel. I pride myself on maintaining the highest level of dignity and tact. Therefore, I will simply ignore this piece of fluff as I tend to ignore the big dogs. I must run now and hide all of the big dogs favorite toys! Have a splendid day!"
Juno, AKA "the little dog"

Friday, February 12, 2010

The way to her heart is pancakes....

Me and the sweety have been on a low-cal, low-fat, low-cholesterol diet for a while now. We have been doing so well but the other night while waiting on American Idol to come on, we were both craving something; and by something I mean something with calories, fat, and cholesterol!! My sweety was staring into the refrigerator longingly and I was contemplating any and every thing in the cupboards. She wanted chocolate cake of course and I wanted chips, my favorite! But we had cleaned the house of any of the things that could sabotage us...or so we thought! Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a half empty box of pancake mix!! Oh happy day!

I yelled out, "I want pancakes!" while holding the box above my head and doing a happy dance. "Yes", she cried, "pancakes!"

Then the guilt set in!

"Oh honey, we can't have pancakes. You have to go back to the doctor and i need to take care of you and ....."

"But I want pancakes now" she pouted, "you said it and you made me want it."

Well, I hate to see a grown woman pout, even tough I do it quite often, so I looked at the box to check the calorie count...not bad! I checked the cholesterol...again, not too bad...

So I said, 'Yes baby, I will fix you the pancakes!"

"Oh thank you" she said, "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Anything for you honey" I replied, eyeing the picture on the box hungrily.

So cook pancakes I did! I fixed a big stack of them and set them out on the plates, poured the skim milk for my sweety..she IS still watching her cholesterol after all...and served them to her with a flourish.

She took a bite of her stack of delicious, calorie laden pancakes, looked at me with love in her eyes and said, "Damn baby, I just fell in love with you all over again!"

Now isn't that romantic....

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Can't I just be me?

As if coming out was not hard enough, now I hear that I should classify myself as to what type of lesbian I am. Huh? What kind of lesbian I am? Well, I am the kind that loves, lives with and sleeps with a woman! Period. Or so I thought.
While reading up on my terminology, which is a part of my sweety guided "lesbian education", I came across many different types of lesbians. Hmmmm....I knew femme (me, I thought) and dyke (my sweety claims this one)...but stone butch or chapstick lesbian...what the hell? So I set about learning. Here is what I found out:

A Baby Dyke is a young lesbian or someone who is just coming out of the closet. <-----I guess I fit here!
A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme but likes jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts. <-----I think this is me!

A Bull Dyke is a very masculine lesbian. Considered offensive by some.

A Butch is a woman who adopts more masculine characteristics, mannerisms and clothing.
A Chapstick lesbian is also known as a soft butch. She usually dresses quite casually and does not wear make-up.

A Diesel Dyke is a very butch or manly lesbian, especially one who is very aggressive or drives trucks or heavy equipment.
A Dyke is another word for lesbian. Usually is only used by people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Some consider this an offensive term. <-----My sweety says this is her!
A Femme is a feminine lesbian. <-----Could be me....

A Glamour butch is a butch who likes to wear fancy suits, tuxedos, clothing, frequently.

A Gold Star lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man .

A Lipstick lesbian is a lesbian that loves her clothes and makeup and shoes. She tends to dress girly.

A Pillow Queen is someone who likes to be on the receiving end of sex. She likes to be pleasured and may not reciprocate.

A Power Dyke is a lesbian who has gained a position of power, whether within the LGBT community or in the business world. <-----This could be my sweety!

A Soft butch is a lesbian whose appearance may be androgynous. She may dress and act in a masculine manner, but be soft and more feminine in the inside. She could be someone who falls somewhere between butch and femme, but closer to the butch side.
A Sport dyke is a lesbian, who identifies as being an athlete. She may also dress like an athlete, as in baseball caps, sweatshirts and jeans.

A Stem Lesbian is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between "stud" and "femme."

A Stone butch is a lesbian who gets her pleasure from pleasing her partner. She may not like to be touched sexually. <-----This is definately NOT me!

A Stud is a dominant lesbian, usually butch.

There are many more I am sure but I am so confused now that I just can't read anymore! I don't know what I am...I don't know much of anything now. I just know that I love my sweety and she loves me, with or without a label. Shouldn't that be enough?

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Where is my "toaster oven" dammit?

Question: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
Answer: A U-haul.

Ummm...ok so we didn't do it quite that quickly...but we did it. We moved in together! We have a life. We have love. We have a family...well, a little dog, 2 BIG puppies and a cat. But they count, right?? We also have "family". A lesbian couple that would do anything for us and their son, our nephew. So there...we are officially a couple. My big question now is: "Where is my toaster oven dammit??"

If you don't understand what I mean by that...well, I'll explain it. Ellen DeGeneres made the toaster oven joke famous. The joke is based on the premise there is some secret-society lesbian recruiting service – kind of like Amway – that gives out toaster ovens when you "turn somebody gay." So my sweety who, in some peoples eyes, converted ME told me that we would get a toaster oven. Well, how exciting! I have always wanted a toaster oven. We have been living together for 11 months now and it has still not arrived. I do the biggest part of the cooking and could really use this in the kitchen. Does anyone know how long it takes to arrive after the "conversion"? Is there a time specification to see if the lesbianism "sticks" after said conversion? Who can I ask? Who is in charge of the secret-society lesbian recruiting service? If anyone out there has the phone number, could you please send it to me? It would be much appreciated as I am on a budget and getting the aforementioned FREE toaster oven would make me such a happy camper...well, we don't camp but you know what I mean. I would appreciate any answers, phone numbers, or secret society addresses that anyone may have. I will let you all know when the oven arrives. Heck, I will even invite you over for Baked Ziti!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

...and then, I fell in love...

My life turned upside down a little over a year ago when I met my sweety. I was definately NOT looking for anyone and neither was she. We met at a party and the rest, as they say, is history. The life I was leading was not a bad life. It was just a life. And then, I fell in love!

I was raised in a small Georgia town as an only child of conservative Christian parents. I was taught from an early age that "good girls" grew up, got married to the right boy, had children and stayed home. That did not feel like a fit for me but I ALWAYS did what I was told. So, I was the cheerleader with straight A's that dated the boys from good families. I graduated, got married, had children and became a teacher. I was happy with my family but always felt a little removed from my marriage. I had always been more attracted to females that to males but that was not "allowable" where I came from so I simply shoved it aside. I did all the right things, went to all the right functions and existed for my children. Then, after moving to Florida, I was at a party...

I saw her the minute I walked in. I made my way over to her and introduced myself...and I fell into her eyes. She has the most incredible eyes. I knew that my life was forever changed. We met again a few days later when she came to my house for a visit. I was so flustered that I acted like an idiot and figured that I would never see her again. She brought me a book a few days after that and much to my surprise, I asked her to kiss me before she left. That was so out of character for me. I was the proper southern belle. She was not. And here I was hitting on her!

Fast forward 17 months and here we are...the hardcore lesbian and the southern belle. We live together with our little dog, 2 BIG puppies and a cat. My life has changed in so many ways....mostly for the better...haha. I laugh a lot, cry sometimes and feel loved in ways I never even imagined. Is it easy? No, not always. Would I change it? Well, not today...not most days...but catch me after a "discussion" and I may say "OH YEA"...but, honestly, NO, I would not change it...not today, not tomorrow, not ever. I love her. Simply that!

I am writing this blog to talk about the things that I experience in day to day life now. I am learning so much about myself. I am learning how to be a lesbian...haha! It is a totally different way of life and not in the way you may be thinking. It is more than just loving a woman. It is a lifestyle. It is funny..sometimes downright hilarious and that is what I want to share the most. The fun, the laughter and the love.

Here's to us honey....